Dead of Night Comedy

Late Night ’80s

Who Says Hollywood Is Completely Out of Ideas?

SYFY: WE'LL AIR LITERALLY ANYTHING

I lack the words:

Gibson will play a fanatical animal-rights activist who frees illegally imported exotic snakes from pet stores, sending them into the Everglades, where they grow to mega sizes. Tiffany will play an overzealous park ranger who uses dangerous methods to save endangered alligators.

“I know that pop culture fanatics have been dying for Tiffany and me to collaborate for the past 24 years!” said Gibson in a statement. “What better way to do it than by battling each other in a campy romp through the Everglades?”

“Only in my dreams have I been able to have a catfight with Debbie Gibson…until now!” Tiffany said. “This is soo MEGA cool!”

I guess lesbian sex is out which would have been the only redeeming thing about this ‘film’…if I were still 15.¹

h/t (I think): DPUD

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^{1 OK, that’s a lie: it’d be a redeeming feature right now, too.}

We Need More Representation Like This

Hilarious.

Of course: the burning hot irony is that a lot of things that can be said about politicians are also applicable to actors.

Write Grandiasly, Win Free Stuff

MORE OF THIS, PLEASE, GAME ARTS

GameArts has a little competition going, that might be write up your alley:

We are pleased to announce that Mr. Noriyuki Iwadare, the music composer of GRANDIA and LUNAR series, will be invited to the Japan Expo 2010* in Paris as a video game music guest of honor this year and have live concerts at the expo from the 1st to 4th of July.

And, we would like to use this opportunity to hold a promotional campaign for GRANDIA during the period stated below in order to celebrate the festival in Paris as well as to express our gratitude to the GRANDIA fans in Japan and overseas for purchasing the game via PlayStation®Network and their continuing support.

During the period, you can download free wallpapers from this web page, and you may win the rare items of GRANDIA by participating in the prize competition.
How do you win those collectors’ items? It’s easy! Just read the instructions, fill out the entry form, and express your passion for the music of GRANDIA!

Now this is all well and good, but where is Grandia 4¹ or Lunar 3²?? (Or, hey, how ’bout some Alisia Dragoon! PLEASE! I beg of thee!)

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^{1 More like 1 and 2, less like 3, please.
2 Less like the hideous PSP remake, please.}

3PM Snapshot: Acrylically-Inclined

NES Acrylics on Canvas by slusk666

The Stuff of Which PSP2 Nightmares Are Made

NINTENDO: ALL YOUR CORE GAMERS ARE BELONG TO US

Nintendo’s been running the Disruption 101 and Blue Ocean playbooks since the introduction of the DS, and now that they’ve completely devoured the low-end, they’re going to be reaching out with a white-gloved, hammer-wielding, hand for the core gamer:

The Nintendo executive suggested in the interview that the DS primarily attracts consumers who don’t play games that often, but hopes that the 3DS’ graphical capabilities and gameplay will appeal more to the core demographic. Its line-up at E3 and the announcement of classic Nintendo 64 remakes would seem to support that aim.

In order to “expand into elaborate games targeting serious gamers,” Iwata says that he intends to work more closely with developers, and that third party support is of utmost importance to the platform. The 3DS was, apparently, created with external developers’ requests in mind.

I would not want to be Kaz Hirai (or a Sony shareholder¹) today, tomorrow, or any time in the next five years. (And don’t think MS is going to get off easy: the Wii2 will trod the same path as the 3DS just like its forebear followed the path the DS blazed.)

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^{1 Though there is a massive list of reasons why you wouldn’t want to be one of those already.}

WTTW: Attack of the Clone

ROLLING, ROLLING, ROLLING

To round out this (slow!) week, we have a clone of a game that very, very few have probably ever played and, thus, this is actually probably a semi-new concept to most of you: it’s called Roto Wars and it borrows heavily from a fun (and obscure) GBA and GameCube game known as Kururin. You pilot a dual lightsaber (well, OK, not really) as you make your way through an obstacle-ridden, um, obstacle course, trying not to blow out your blades as you  tumble head over, well, head to the goal.

Stuff You May Have Missed Yesterday

OKAMI by fkcsantaclaus

• Sin & Punishment 2–a game you must buy–gets a new trailer.
• This can’t be a good sign for the senior Senator from NV.
• Dreamcast on Wii??
• Senility arrives for Paul McCartney. Again.
• This is all well and good, but I’m guessing some palms were greased.
• On what planet did this make sense??
• And all the stuff you didn’t read on WE.

AM In Your Head All Day

SING IT!

Thunder, rain, and lightning
Danger, water rising
Clamour, sirens wailing
It’s such a bad sign

Shadows of dark creatures
Steel clouds floating in the air
People run for shelter
What’s gonna happen to us!?

All the steps we take, all the moves we make, all the pain at stake
I see the chaos for everyone who are we what can we do
You and i are same in the way that we have our own styles that we won’t change
Yours is filled with evil and mine’s not there is no way i can lose

Can’t hold on much longer – but i will never let go
I know it’s a one way track – tell me now how long this’ll last
I’m not gonna think this way – nor will i count on others
Close my eyes and feel it burn – now i see what i’ve gotta do

Open your heart, it’s gonna be allright

Ancient city blazing
Shadows keep attacking
Little children crying
Confusion, hopeless anger

I don’t know what it can be but you drive me crazy
All your cunning tricks make me sick, you won’t have it your own way

Can’t hold on much longer – but i will never let go
I know it’s a one way track – tell me now how long this’ll last
I’m not gonna think this way – nor will i count on others
Close my eyes and feel it burn – now i see what i’ve gotta do

Open your heart…and you’ll see…

If it won’t stop, there will be no future for us
Its heart is tied down by all the hate, gotta set him free

I know it’s a one way track – tell me now how long this’ll last
Close my eyes and feel it burn – now i see what i’ve gotta do

Gotta open your heart, dude!

Can’t hold on much longer – but i will never let go
I know it’s a one way track – tell me now how long this’ll last
I’m not gonna think this way – nor will i count on others
Close my eyes and feel it burn – now i see what i’ve gotta do

Open your heart, it’s gonna be allright