Too Hard Corps For the Gaming Media??

Contra popular belief, nobody cares about Contra

Why is Eurogamer the only outfit even mentioning the Contra game for XBLA and PSN??:

Developed by Arc System Works, Hard Corps features eight levels and anime-style visuals, and is built around the Contra series’ famously rock-hard side-scrolling shooter gameplay.

Some power-ups and vehicles should be familiar to fans of the series, and there’s also a special Rising Mode for newcomers, in which you can take three bullets before dying rather than the usual one.

And then I checked the comments…eight of them. This story has been up for 9 hours or so and has a total of eight comments. Anyone know a good cure for old school gamer despair??

Sparks(ter) Will Fly May 12th

Yeah, you wish it looked this good

Rocket Knight returns soon for $15 on 360, PS3 and PC (the lack of a Wii version seems to be a very, very odd omission for this game in particular):

In Rocket Knight, players assume the role of Sparkster, a heroic opossum who returns home to the Kingdom of Zephyrus after 15 years only to discover that wolves have attacked his homeland. Rocket Knight introduces expansive new worlds to the franchise, with massive platform levels as well as rocket-flying levels. Using their wits and a trusty rocket pack, players must overcome the hostile wolf army aiming to attack Sparkster’s beloved kingdom.

Sounds lovely–here’s hoping they didn’t completely f*ck it up, though the kinda lifeless, puppet-like¹, graphics built on Platform Game Designer Pro MAX^TM don’t inspire hope in the early going (and, man, the music–do NOT screw up the music, Climax!):

And here’s some video for those of you that have been in hibernation for the past six months (which continues to not inspire):

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1 Where are my sprites and parallax, damn you!

Father of Earthworm Jim Keeps Hope Alive for Part 4

UPDATE BELOW

Wishful thinking generously provided by…me

Oh please oh please oh please:

I asked Mr. TenNapel about the reported EWJ revival going on in conjunction with the new Interplay, which originally included plans for a new game, television series and animated film. Now, according to him, the only thing still in production is Earthworm Jim 4. Interplay wanted to push it as a quick-and-shitty release to make a quick buck; but Mr. TenNapel is a pretty cool guy, and he told them that if the project was going to go through, it would have to be done right (then I imagine he ripped off his shirt and shoved their faces into his hairy chest). So the current plan is to release EWJ4 for the Wii sometime in the distant future.

I’m not holding my breath, but Doug TenNapel *is* one of the nicest guys in the gaming biz, so this probably isn’t him just blowing smoke to score some points with a long-time fan. (And most of the above “oh pleases” assume that Mr. TenNapel, himself, will be working on the game in a meaningful fashion–if he’s only cursorily-involved, all bets are off.)

UPDATE:

Good thing I didn’t hold my breath as TenNapel sez:

In our early discussions about the game, we had tentatively brainstormed ideas for the Wii, but that is NOT a confirmation like the guy posted. We haven’t presented the idea to Nintendo and all of what the guy posted in the article could actually jeopardize a real EWJ game coming out on the Wii.

So, on this news, I present you with this:

Metroid Dread Not Entirely Dead Making It…Undread?

I’m feeling whatever the opposite of dread is right now, which probably isn’t undread

Because someone decided to keep hope alive by creating their own version of the oft-rumored¹, maybe it will still come out, maybe it won’t, DS game Metroid Dread:

This, along with Project AM2R at least keeps the hope of pure 2D Metroid alive, even if Nintendo (*boo! hiss!*) won’t.

You can grab an engine demo for Project Dread here.

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1 it was real, folks, I can guarantee you that much.