Home > Fatness & Nutrition, The Fast > Bit by bit…

Bit by bit…

…one way or another,
Bit by bit, being really stubborn!*

So, despite today’s trials and tribulations w/ Jack Frost, aided and abetted by Satan, I’ve found that, outside of the first few hours this AM, I haven’t felt half-bad given the situation.

Oh sure, I’m still hungry, but it’s a manageable hunger, a distant, happily-forgotten (both ways), cousin compared to yesterday’s “IF I DON’T EAT SOMETHING NOW I’M GOING TO GO ABSO-F***ING-LUTELY INSANE, LOAD MY GUN (I don’t own a gun), AND, THANKS TO SUGAR-STARVED BRAIN-INDUCED CLAIRVOYANCE, LEAP AHEAD IN TIME, SHOOT OUT SATAN’S TIRES AND EAT HIM WHILE HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN SCREAM IN HORROR.” Or something to that effect. I can’t remember very clearly because I’ve had this nasty case of indigestion all day and coughed up some road salt earlier (I wonder what that’s about…)…anyway, where was I? Oh yes, feeling pretty good today, minus the back-breaking, ‘I’ll pay for it in the morning’, labor.

As for this AM, I woke up around 5 but that was only true in the technical, brainwaves shifting from delta/theta to beta, sense. No, in the real world, I was about as cognizant of consciousness as Barry Bonds** is of humility/decency, that is to say: nearly oblivious.

As it turns out, it actually took me 2.5 hours of semi-conscious, brain on strike muddleheadedness (some would argue that this is a normal state of affairs) that was far, far worse than yesterday’s disconnect from reality (again, probably a normal state of affairs) to get further than feeding the menagerie of pets (sadly, I think I fed one of the dogs to one of the cats*** in the process–sorry Cocoa) so I was a bit messed up. Thankfully, though, after the first 90 minutes of disc-rupturing, driveway excavation/archaeology I was pretty clear-headed and ready for…more disc-rupturing, driveway excavation/archaeology.

One thing that is very strange, however: I’ve done tons of different diets over the years and, at this point, this fast is most like an Atkins/ketogenic diet. Now, normally, I’d have had mind-shattering headaches by this point (actually had them and been done w/ them) but, thus far, just a mild one yesterday and that’s it. So while this should be cause for celebration, I’m worried that its just lying in wait, ready to spring like a coiled, Del Taco, burrito on an unsuspecting colon.

More (shoveling) tomorrow…



*With absolutely no apologies to Stephanie Mills. (Hell, she should be paying me for being the first person to reference her song–and her, for that matter–since roller-skating was considered cool…by teenagers…at the dawn of the Reagan era.)
**Yeah, so it isn’t topical: the dude is still a grade-A a**hole and it needs to be noted Every. Single. Day. Forever.
**You laugh, but you’ve never seen this cat.

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