Home > Video Games > Stop it before it kills again!

Stop it before it kills again!

Bigger than Bubonic Plague!
A Threat to the Mental Health of ‘Hardcore’ Gamers the World Over

Those of you paying attention to these sorts of things, long-term, will get a chuckle out of the impotent, near-insane, ramblings of the ex-CEO of DICE, Fredrik Liliegrin (the Battlefield people1):

“…the Wii, to me, I would describe it as a Virus, that doesn’t stick. Everyone comes home, it’s a toy, people have got to realize the Wii is a toy, not an entertainment focused product. People come home, someone, they play Wii for a bit, feel it’s really cool, blah blah blah, they go out and buy one,” he tells GamingUnion.

“Ask people how often they play the Wii,” he continues, “that are not the core game consumer that buys one because they have an Xbox 360 and a Wii or a PlayStation 3 and a Wii. The people that only own the Wii, ask that consumer how often they use their machine. They just don’t use it, it was cool, but they’re not gamers, so they put it away.

“Other than the Wii Fit phenomenon that helped a lot of people get a nice cutie voice telling that they’re fat and need to go work out, they need to find other alternatives. Nintendo is smart in that way in that they realize this is not a video game machine, this is not a games game machine.”

Calls to HIV and Herpes were not returned before press time to get their feelings on being lumped in with Wii but the Common Cold had some choice words in support of DICE’s, allegedly, syphilitic2 ex-prez:

Man, the Wii ain’t nowhere near as hardcore as me! I give people a runny nose! And a headache! All the Wii can do is get a rash of women to play games with you! And who wants that?? Wait, what? They do?! Oh…

Meanwhile, in semi-ironic news, an actual3 virus seems to have afflicted every non-Slim (non-toy, natch) PS3 in God’s creation, striking it down in its under-used youth:

A bug has crippled original PlayStation 3 units, leaving users unable to access the PlayStation Network, and compromising trophy and game functionality of a number of titles.

I can confirm that the Wii is not a virus, unless, of course, you’re an insecure male who is afraid of women (or the ex-president of DICE, but I repeat myself) and is my favorite, current-gen, platform by some miles.

As for my PS3: yes, it’s currently dead, with the only saving grace being that I recently finished a soul-shattering (haha!) epic run through Demon’s Souls (contender for GOTY 2009) and is now back in its natural habitat: grazing range for carnivorous dust bunnies.


1 That’d be the video game series, not Scientology, though Fredrick seems like a natural fit for volcano-tossing. (Whether physically or in the doctrinal sense.)
2 In late stages, syphilis can cause madness and dementia.
3 OK, maybe not in the literal sense, but metaphorically like, I dunno, calling the Wii a virus.

Advertisements
Categories: Video Games
  1. 03/01/2010 at 13:54

    Ha! I like your writing style, and your linking practices!

    But yes, the irony is too rich to ignore. Chest thumping male gamer derides Wii as a virus; meanwhile the always on, hyper connected, bloated “entertainment hub” he seemingly adores so much just had its Achilles Heel torn asunder.

    //jack

  2. ECM
    03/01/2010 at 14:14

    Heh, I am very on-the-ball about above-board linking practices 🙂

    (Plus, this post was inspired by you and Maelstrom, so credit where it’s due.)

  3. katex
    03/01/2010 at 15:57

    fredrik you have offended me to the core for some reason

    • ECM
      03/01/2010 at 16:08

      It’s only because you are one of those awful, icky, women ruining gaming for the, err, real men.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: