Fast Facts

Morning at ECM's house
ECM, during a thwarted Big Mac Attack

1. A sudden craving for a Big Mac can lead to acute physical, emotional and psychological distress akin to sudden heroin withdrawal1. (Or, uh, so I’m told.)

2. Water intake increases dramatically to cut appetite; keep hydrated; stave off boredom; and induce water intoxication to cut appetite, keep hydrated, and stave off boredom so there’s no more appetite, dehydration or boredom to worry about. Ever. (Or Big Macs.)

3. While out in public, watching other people eat Big Macs w/ the concerted ‘interest’ (and panting/drooling/whining…begging/screaming/gibbering) of a starving jackal/vampiric polar bear/minion of Cthulhu, can lead to the involvement of local law enforcement who will not be sympathetic to your self-inflicted ‘plight’–especially if you shout “ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”2 at them.

1 It doesn’t help that the only ‘methadone‘ available is copious amounts of water.
2 Cthulhu for: “Please, sir, might I have two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun?”

  1. 03/04/2010 at 22:00

    This post is your best one yet because you’re starting to sound a bit crazy. I told you to be careful with the fast.

  2. ECM
  3. 03/05/2010 at 08:28

    Keep going…it will be worth it eventually, even sans the Arches.

    • ECM
      03/05/2010 at 16:28

      Yeah, I hope so.

      So far it isn’t that bad, it just hurts when a random craving strikes from the outer darkness.

  4. 03/06/2010 at 17:04

    I want to see what happens to you, because after you’re done, I might do it too, as long as you don’t suffer permanent damage.

    • ECM
      03/06/2010 at 17:53

      Happy to be a potential cadaver to prevent any harm coming to you 😛

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