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私今聞くことができます?

deaf and blind
Japanese for “Blind and Deaf1

Exhibit A, in all the proof you’ll ever need, that the Japanese parent companies of their Western subsidiaries2 are completely out of touch with reality:

I don’t know personally about any project underway regarding Kid Icarus, but if so many of those people are interested in it and really want to see it on the Wii they should really speak up.

Yoshio Sakamoto, Again

I bet you, the reader, didn’t know that there wasn’t any demand at all for a new Kid Icarus. For the past decade. And beyond. (The game was in Nintendo Power’s3 Top Ten most wanted sequels, essentially, forever.) It’s not like it was once so popular that key elements of it were featured in a super-popular Saturday morning cartoon. Or that it was so popular Nintendo kept re-releasing it, again and again, because there was, clearly, no demand for it at all. Even when it wasn’t called Kid Icarus.

So what does NCL want? For us to take up bow and arrow, paper mache wings and toga, cosplay-style4, and storm their HQ, holding Sakamoto et al at arrowpoint until they accede to our demands:“No Kid Icarus, No Peace!”, “No Blood for Kid Icarus!”, “Give Me Kid Icarus or Give Me the Cosplayers Death!” (We can work out a deal on the last item where you eliminate the morbidly-obese/males dressed as females cosplayers (especially the hybrids), keep the game, and we’ll call it even.)

Anyway, to sum up:

give me now

DO WANT (STILL)                                             DO NOT WANT (EVER)


1 Yes, nerd, I know that’s the old logo.
2 It’s thinking like this that, in part, led to Sega’s death, e.g. no proper Sonic at Saturn launch (or, really, ever); nixing Streets of Rage 4 because Sega’s own, Western, staff didn’t know its pedigree; and letting countless other, super-popular, Genesis franchises wither on the vine in order to shovel money into interactive movies and botched hardware designs.
3 Which, for about 20 years, was the internal, house magazine, of Nintendo of America with the president of NOA as its publisher! Who also just happened to be the son-in-law of the madman that ran NCL for centuries!
4 Somewhere there’s a (grossly overweight) cosplayer getting a chubby over the mere thought of this.

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