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Great Moments in Nerd History

Asteroids or women…Asteroids or women…he chose…poorly

When I was around seven years old, I spent a lazy Saturday morning flipping1 the score in 2600 Asteroids seven times straight before my Mom finally said enough and sent me packing thus thwarting my dream2 of attaining gaming immortality, but paltry things such as a stern mother, a productive job or a social life involving women weren’t enough to deter one John McAllister from playing the arcade version of Asteroids for three days straight:

While we don’t report about every single world record that is broken on here, occasionally there are ones which are broken which are just too impressive to pass by. I heard about this on the KLOV forums and then saw that they had a live stream of the event on Aurcade.com. John McAllister broke the record last night at 10:18PM with 41,338,740 points – he had to start on Friday morning to achieve this which meant playing the game for three days straight, no pause button allowed (or possible). Congrats to John for smashing the previous record, which had been held by Scott Safran who set his record 28 years ago in 1982, which also required three days of playing to set. I doubt anyone will be able to topple John’s score anytime soon but that probably won’t stop others from trying. In the meantime, congrats to John for the achievement!

This dude makes the other dude that recently broke the Donkey Kong high score seem like a loser in comparison3, except that the other guy also happens to be a plastic surgeon and appears to have done something with his life outside of set a record in a completely trivial pursuit. (So much so that it wouldn’t actually be of any use in Trivial Pursuit.)

But we salute you anyway, oh lord of the losers, because we’re just, uh, jealous? Yeah, that’s it: jealous that we’ve known the touch of a woman, et al. 4

1 Back in my day, they couldn’t even afford extra digits on the score table, so once you breached the maximum allowable, it actually rolled over to zero to start anew.
2 No, not really.
3 Only in Bizarro World, where spending three days straight on a video game in order to break the high score doesn’t, by default, make you the God-king of obsessive losers.
4 Another record he’s probably broken with a fraction of the effort: most days spent as a virgin. Ever…outside of, maybe, the Knight. (Who swears it’s intentional.)

  1. 04/06/2010 at 21:54

    I wonder if he used a diaper? And by the way, I’ll just get this out of the way, since I’m in full on, “I NEED MY FIRST SALE” super beg mode:


    • ECM
      04/06/2010 at 22:01

      Do you have a sample that I can turn into a full post?

  2. 04/06/2010 at 23:02

    heck yeah I do!

    • ECM
      04/06/2010 at 23:12

      Yeah, I already found it 😉 It’ll be up tomorrow morning.

  3. kog3100_edw
    04/07/2010 at 16:00

    I wondered the diaper thing too.
    Y’know? I guess there is something to be said for being amongst the world’s greats at something… anything. But is that ‘greatness’ really worth not knowing the touch of a woman as you put it?

    Hell no. Nothing is worth that. For all that being a nerd for whatever… enough to be blogging about it… none of this stuff is MORE important. And if women came with a mute button it’d be a lot easier to see that.

    Its biology baby.

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