Home > 'Journalistic' Malpractice, Video Games > Gaming Blog Kotaku, Dead at 8 From Irony Overdose

Gaming Blog Kotaku, Dead at 8 From Irony Overdose

ashtaku
Kotaku, minutes before death

Kotaku, 8, died April 21, 2010 @ 01:00 AM, at a home shared with his father, Gawker Media, due to an unintentional irony overdose.

Shortly after posting Do Not Trust This Magazine’s Review Scores, Kotaku failed to realize that criticizing another gaming media outlet for its lack of credibility–something for which Kotaku, itself, was notorious–led to a debilitating rise in blood serum irony levels, ultimately leading to its death.

Kotaku was discovered by its father, Gawker Media, hanging in a basement closet, clutching a worn copy of the latest Famitsu, with a pair of Hello Kitty panties tied tightly around its throat, raising suspicions as to whether it was leading a double life–criticizing Famitsu on the one hand, while employing its methods on the other–and it is believed that while engaging in self-loathing behavior (and auto-erotic asphyxiation) the sudden realization of it all caused the final, fatal, ironic spike.

There was a futile attempt at revival by imposing some self-awareness to drive down toxicity levels, but there wasn’t enough room in Gawker’s crowded basement bedroom/HQ–which Kotaku shared with sibling Gizmodo–to make this a viable option.

Kotaku is survived by its father, Gawker Media, and siblings Lifehacker and Gizmodo.

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  1. 04/21/2010 at 17:33

    My favorite comment:

    “This just in, every game receiving a perfect score from Famitsu is actually good. Carry on.”

    • ECM
      04/21/2010 at 17:42

      Yeah, we could descend into a debate about how important arbitrary numbering schemes are (I HATE THEM!) but this guy has it pretty much dead to rights.

  2. 04/21/2010 at 18:36

    But remember, it’s a BLOG! They’re not expected to be professional! But they still get all the perks of professional writers, including the aforementioned games, trips, toys, payola, etc. etc. etc.

    • ECM
      04/21/2010 at 19:05

      Kinda awesome how that works out, eh?

      • 04/21/2010 at 20:11

        Guess who responded when I called Kotaku out on their crap? Yes, Brian Crecente himself. Who says you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

    • Joshelplex
      04/22/2010 at 12:53

      Wanna hit us up with the respons?

  3. ECM
    04/21/2010 at 20:16

    What? You can’t un-take trips and donate those (and meals, and booze, and…) to charity at the end of the year?! Who knew! XD

  4. kog3100_edw
    04/22/2010 at 16:14

    Also, bear in mind that the Japanese public as a whole doesn’t quite mind this sort of blatant bedfellow stuff. I’m not saying J-gamers don’t criticise Famitsu or that they never notice the perks-corruption that ECM frequently goes on about.

    BUT.

    It is way, way less important to them. Corruption of every sort is much less opposed there than it is here, or most Western countries. Even when stuff like that bothers them the Japanese are not exactly vocal about it. Culturally they don’t rock the boat. And they absolutely accept partiality in reviews and criticism to a degree many of us would find difficult to stomach.

    And Famitsu isn’t written to US.

    • ECM
      04/22/2010 at 16:20

      Yeah, I wrote exactly that (more or less more) here:

      But, anyway, speaking as someone that DID work in the gaming ‘media’ once up a time, I have to say that the line needs to be drawn in bright, red, crayon (we’re talking about Kotaku here–we can’t get too complicated) and you can’t have it both ways: either your part of the problem (payola as you put it) or you’re not. If you’re not, then you can’t take free games/trips/blowjobs/etc. from the companies you cover, period. (I would be willing to accept an escrow service of some sort for comp copies of games, etc., but NO trips, NO PR circle-jerks where the companies come by and take you to lunch/dinner, NO free consoles and NO swag (and they get A LOT of that stuff).)

      And, yes, this has kinda been Kotaku’s modus operandi since day one, though it’s been getting worse (as hard for me to believe as that is) of late, which I can’t really explain except that they need to hit certain traffic targets so they’ll spin everything they post into a shitstorm of controversy because, in the short run, it will get them lots more traffic. So, in a way, paying them any attention at all is incentive for them to do *more* of this sort of thing. (Normally I won’t even link back to them when I’m beating them over the skull, but this Famitsu thing is just breathtaking in its arrogance/irony–doubly-so when, on the whole, this IS a cultural issue in Japan* AND, honestly, it’s Famitsu! If you don’t like their reviews, do NOT post thier review scores–problem miraculously solved!)

      Eventually, though, taking that route will blow up in your face, especially since Kotaku’s entire existence is predicated on a parasitic relationship with content producers to generate traffic.

      *The Japanese do not see Famitsu’s ‘selling out’ as, well, selling out like an American or, hell, Westerners in general do which makes this little act by Kotaku even more ridiculous because 1. they know this and 2. it’s a fucking Japanese mag that NOBODY in America reads. I’d have a great deal more respect if they took a lead pipe to, say, Gamespot or IGN but, then, they’re just as guilty as Kotaku for all of the above, compromising, things, so you won’t hear a peep out of them about that so play-acting at beating up on a virtually-irrelevant magazine is just laughable.)

      Great minds and all that 😉

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