Home > Way Off Topic > Taking the Bucks Out of Starbucks

Taking the Bucks Out of Starbucks

Starbucks: unsafe at any temp

And you thought only McDonald’s customers were this savvy stupid:

According to the complaint, the plaintiff Zeynep Inanli was served tea that was “unreasonably hot, in containers which were not safe,” at a Starbucks store at 685 Third Avenue in Manhattan.

As a result of Starbucks’ negligence, the plaintiff suffered “great physical pain and mental anguish,” including the burns, the complaint said.

The plaintiff seeks unspecified damages.

“Including the burns”?? What, exactly, were the other forms of horrific, physical, pain she suffered? Did the tea, after burning her (because the tea is a sentient being, intellectually on par w/ Ms. Inanli and her legal representative), go for a knife1 and carve up her face?

And as for the intense, psychological, trauma, did her black tea call her racist when she tried to pour cream in it? Did it ask her if she wanted something hot and black inside her? I know that’d shake me up.2

In a sane world, people this dumb/disingenuous (and their legal representation) would be boiled in a double mocha latte while the rest of us looked on, in nodding approval, as we blew on our steamy beverages before imbibing.

h/t: Drudge Report (’cause he really needs the traffic)

1 Ah! More negligence on Starbucks’ part! You never leave cutlery around a cup of hot tea! You never know when it’ll turn on you! /shyster
2 Mainly because that means Fei sold me some really bad angel dust.

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