Home > Video Games > Sony Staunches Sucking Chest Wound With a Cue Tip, Media Snores

Sony Staunches Sucking Chest Wound With a Cue Tip, Media Snores

Red is the new black, unless you’re Nintendo, then billions in profit is an ill omen

Good thing they have the WiiHD ready to drop near-term, or you might think losses like this were unsustainable1:

The division, which houses the company’s PlayStation and VAIO PC businesses, saw sales decline 10.2 per cent to 1,578.8 billion yen (£11.6bn / $17.1bn) during the 12 month period, while it made an operating loss of 83.1 billion yen (£609m / $889m), a year-on-year improvement of 4.3 billion yen (£31.5m / $46.5m).

Reached for comment, Michael Pachter stated:

I really don’t know anything about gaming, but I’m pretty sure this means Sony is poised for long-term victory. What? Off-script? Oh, sorry, um, what I meant was: With the WiiHD coming from Sony in the near-term, their fortunes should see a marked improvement, so buybuybuy Sony stock! It’s a sure-bet, can’t-lose, investment, even when they’re losing hundreds of millions a year! (And make sure you sell all your filthy, profitable, Nintendo stock because with only 2.2 billion in profits over the past year, they are clearly not ‘poised for growth’. Oh, and they’re going to suck at E3 because I said so! What? No, I don’t like the attention. I, oh, wait a minute–hey, you, with the camera, make sure you get my good side! It’s my ass2)

1 This isn’t so much a knock on Sony (well, it is, sort of) as it is the ridiculous media wailing about Nintendo’s constantly-dire fortunes while they continues to rake in billions in profit, but are mysteriously sanguine about the vast, stupifying, losses gushing from Sony and, until recently, Microsoft, always positioning those money-hemorrhaging financial reports as signs that they’re ready, any minute now, just around the corner, wait for it! to take the market by storm. (Witness the absolutely ridiculous statement by Michael Pachter that the PS3+Move=WiiHD comment, in the linked interview, to get the full force of this insipidly shameless mentality.)
2 OK, that last bit about his ass is probably stretching things a bit but…maybe not.

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