Home > 'Journalistic' Malpractice, Video Games > Namco Could Drill a Relief Well in the Gulf in 35 Seconds, But the Quality…

Namco Could Drill a Relief Well in the Gulf in 35 Seconds, But the Quality…

TEKKEN OR FOOD NETWORK, TEKKEN OR FOOD NETWORK...

…would probably be pretty bad:

MCV: Has the bubble burst for the Wii and DS?

NAMCO: It’s a tough market. DS is the most successful platform ever, but all my kids’ friends at school have a DS with an R4. They have 100 games for no money. So yes, the market has collapsed for the DS and Wii.

So: the Wii market has collapsed because piracy in Europe is rampant on DS…which makes perfect sense…right?

This, folks, is what’s known as a Freudian slip, i.e. he’s conflating (inadvertently?) the Wii with the DS because he needs to spin Namco’s abject failure in the Wii market with the popular notion that the DS is dead in Europe due to piracy, because that’s what he needs Namco’s shareholders to believe if guys like him are going to keep their jobs. (More on this below.)

I also enjoy how MCV sets up the narrative with an incredibly-leading question for the corporate shill because–surprise!!–they’re all-in on the ‘Nintendo is doomed…again’ meme, that was on hiatus for nearly 3 months! Wow! And some of us thought they’d finally kicked the habit but, as it turns out, they just can’t quit it. Like their salad-tossing ‘games’.

We had a lot of product, and the average quality of a game on DS and Wii is very, very bad. So in the mind of the consumer today, to buy a DS or Wii game is to buy a game that isn’t very good.

Oh, I agree, the quality of the average Namco product on Wii is absolutely atrocious…hey…wait…I wonder (and I’m just spit-balling here) if there’s a correlation or, gasp!, maybe even some causation! Maybe!

I mean, with super high quality titles like Happy Dance Collection, Daikaijuu Battle, more Dragon Ball games than you can shake a capsule at, Wii Cheer, and Food Network: Cook or Be Cooked, how can it be that they aren’t selling eleventy-billion copies per game??? I mean, Jesus, next thing you know you’ll be telling me Active Life: Extreme Challenge isn’t as good a game as New Super Mario Bros. Wii…or a bag of dog sh*t.

Call me crazy, but maybe the market has a dim view of Namco Bandai games on Wii when pretty much everyone agrees (even those rubes that buy Wii games) that they produce acres and acres of grade AAA feces. Is that maybe possible? That if you produce sh*t, it won’t sell because–surprise!–it’s sh*t? Hello? Tekken?

I mean, who would do something completely crazy like spend some actual money and put Tekken or a real Soul Calibur on Wii instead of Tamagotchi Party On! and Family Jockey? Not Namco Bandai, no sir!1

After all, those games are quality enough for customers weaned on trash like Mario Kart Wii, New Super Mario Bros. Wii and, pretty much, every other Nintendo-published game which, obviously, only meet the bare minimum level of quality and competence…oh, and also happen to be their big guns, which everyone likes supported with sizable marketing *and* development budgets. Gee, some more correlation (or, gasp!, causation!) at work again? Maybe??

And, in light of this naked, pathetic, spin, I am forced to ask: if the Wii market has collapsed, what’s happened to the PS3 and 360 markets? Destroyed by a meteor strike? Sucked into a blackhole? Moonlighting as a space heater (360) and movie player (PS3)? I mean, the Wii is still selling out, 3.5 years on, while the 360 is actually starting to, literally, collapse in light of a surging PS3 that is only ‘surging’ in relation to the wind-sucking 360. But, yeah, the Wii market is just falling apart…because of piracy on DS…or something.

Anyway, the takeaway from all of this is, err, thus: “we [Namco] completely dropped the ball on the Wii market, ignoring it until we couldn’t ignore it any longer, then we dropped mostly sh*t on it and, when that didn’t sell (because, you see, it’s sh*t), we’ll blame “the quality level” of the same shit we shoveled out the door for our poor sales. (And pray our shareholders love to eat the sh*t we’re shovleing down their gaping maws.)”

Also: remember, these interviews w/ industry execs are not for your consumption but spin for shareholders who are completely apoplectic that companies (like Namco)–who are losing their asses–cannot make a go of it on platforms with absolutely massive userbases.

Keep in mind that it is these companies entire purpose to make profit, not satisfy some imaginary quality level and the fact that they can’t make any on machines that have literally annihilated the competition is a damning indictment of the management running these companies, i.e. this drivel is the same pablum they spoon-feed their investors at annual meetings when they take massive losses in areas in which they should–becaue they’re bloody game companies–be turning massive profits, i.e. this is full CYA mode.

P.S. Namco adds: “This is all Nintendo’s fault for raising the bar too high–if only they sucked as much as everyone else, we could make some money with our terrible f*cking games.”

P.P.S. I add: “Hey MCV, how about actually entertaining the idea of probing follow-up questions that don’t let slippyer d*cks like this dude wriggle off the hook with little more than a blow job and collecting your money on the table? Oh, and while you’re at it, instead of establishing the narrative, how about you act like actual, honest, journalists and perhaps ask questions rather than leading your interviewees to your desired conclusion?”


1 This would be like Capcom bitching that Tatsunoko vs. Capcom didn’t sell–they didn’t, mind you–because, you know, everyone knows what a Tatsunoko is and they marketed it with the full fury of a used piece of toilet paper.

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  1. 06/10/2010 at 17:56

    Well put. I have not purchased a disc game on the Wii or 360 in a while. Last one was Raiden IV for the 360. I know it’s “the law” that whoever is top dog in the console industry is required to have loads of junk games on it but it seems like it’s much more prevalent on the Wii than it was with other top systems. I know that’s anecdotal and thus worth nothing but Namco certainly hasn’t brought anything to the table that anyone should care about or buy.

    • ECM
      06/10/2010 at 17:58

      Super Mario Galaxy 2! Monster Hunter Tri!

  2. kog3100_edw
    06/10/2010 at 19:04

    Its enough to make you want to return your copy of Namco Museum, eh?

    Me, I’m just staggered by the size of this post! And you know I like me some long-winded blog action!

  3. 06/10/2010 at 19:12

    I haven’t tried SMG2 or New Super Mario Bros. Wii. Sad that to this day Mario is still carrying the water here.

  4. kog3100_edw
    06/10/2010 at 19:37

    I don’t do much with Nintendo first party games either and I STILL have enough high quality stuff on wii to have made it well worth the purchase. Besides stuff like Muramasa and (the better) SNK Classics Collection, the thing has basically allowed me to have an SNES and a TurboGrafx16 all in the same box.

    Upcoming Xenoblade and S&P 2 are just ladling on more gravy.

    ECM, do you have the import Xenoblade coming to you? Or are you waiting for a domestic one? Didn’t recall if you had a JPN wii or not…

    • ECM
      06/10/2010 at 19:39

      Yup, I’ll be playing Xenoblade soon-ish 🙂

  5. 06/11/2010 at 12:29

    Yeah I think the gaming press has had one effect when it comes to Wii: so many gamers are convinced there is nothing to play on the system. Which is patently false. People need to get over this meta score mentality (and I’m as much at fault as anyone in terms of letting those scores bias my habits). Epoona looked really interesting, but a few dorkknockers give it a mediocre review and its not worth playing all of a sudden? It could suck, but maybe it doesn’t! What about the plethora of very entertaining light gun shooters? Heck even the craptastic Target: Terror is still pretty amazing, in a so bad its good way. Tri-Ace has put some JRPGs out for the system, right? I think there is plenty of content but its not being trumpeted at all.

    • ECM
      06/11/2010 at 15:28

      Man, I LOVE the light gun shooters–even if there weren’t any other games on the bloody machine, it was worth the purchase just for those.

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