Fast Facts

ECM, during a thwarted Big Mac Attack

1. A sudden craving for a Big Mac can lead to acute physical, emotional and psychological distress akin to sudden heroin withdrawal¹. (Or, uh, so I’m told.)

2. Water intake increases dramatically to cut appetite; keep hydrated; stave off boredom; and induce water intoxication to cut appetite, keep hydrated, and stave off boredom so there’s no more appetite, dehydration or boredom to worry about. Ever. (Or Big Macs.)

3. While out in public, watching other people eat Big Macs w/ the concerted ‘interest’ (and panting/drooling/whining…begging/screaming/gibbering) of a starving jackal/vampiric polar bear/minion of Cthulhu, can lead to the involvement of local law enforcement who will not be sympathetic to your self-inflicted ‘plight’–especially if you shout “ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”² at them.

---

1 It doesn’t help that the only ‘methadone‘ available is copious amounts of water.
2 Cthulhu for: “Please, sir, might I have two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun?”